Friday, December 10, 2004
I just googled you because I miss you and I found your great letter to John Waters and then I found your entry about me saying Philadelphia was lonely. Maybe I should have qualified it as it was lonely FOR ME. Or it was a strangely lonely time in my life because of all the work I was doing on myself and the feelings that were coming up for me from the past that I then associated with Philadelphia but they were my FEELINGS Conrad. Don't be mad at me for having feelings. They were not meant as a slight to you or anyone. Although I guess I am a hypocrite if I don't let you be mad at me for saying that. Those are your feelings. I guess I just want to make it clear that I love you and that I miss you and I feel your loss every day, even if I do say I was lonely in Philadelphia. And I'll never forget that day we drove into SF and it was magical coming down Mission Street in the van and the newest part of the new world was bathed in sunshine and how generous of you to deliver me to a new place even though it meant that it would put distance between us. I am grateful for you bringing me here. I've lived many places in this world, and this is the only place that hasn't made me cry.
I will see you soon (in Philadelphia).