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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

THE LATEST DEATH THREATS ARE IN! 

ever since i placed my ad for a transvestite boxer in The Philadelphia Independent i've been getting death threats on my answering machine. the first was an old man who was screaming into the machine about gassing faggots and saving the children. that was wild. then the younger guy who said he wanted to break my legs and torture me by ripping my skin off while i screamed for mercy. this guy kept SPITTING the word FUCK, like he was jerking off or something while speaking into the machine.

i feel like some anthropological study is going on while i listen. i'm not upset by any of them, even though none of it so far has been said in jest in any way. it all sounds very very serious. more than anthropological, it seems like an anthropathological study going on, getting my ear on the drum of reflected and fractured emotional body. these people are so damned wounded sounding, that it's sad and creepy.

Frank Sherlock heard today's caller. i played the answering machine into the phone so he could hear her. he suggested i transcribe it.

we both guess she's about 40 or so. no younger. she called twice. she was so crazy, you could just picture her at a witch burning, rationalizing everything taking place. the second call was even angrier sounding. here's a transcription of the two calls:

(first call)
YOU STINKING ASSHOLES I'M CALLING ABOUT YOUR GODDAMNED AD IN THE STINKING GODDAMNED PAPER WILL YOU FUCKING GROW UP AND BE FUCKING NORMAL AND PART OF LIFE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE YOU NEED TO BE PUT FUCKING SIX FEET UNDER THE WHOLE FUCKING LOT OF YOU DISGRACE THE GODDAMN FUCKING WORLD!

(second call)
HEY ASS-LICKING IDIOTS IT'S ME AGAIN JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW WE FUCKING CAN NOT STAND YOUR FUCKING IDIOT KIND INCLUDING THAT FUCKING GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY WHO HAS EMBARRASSED THE FUCKING WORLD AGAIN YOU ARE DISGUSTING AND IF I COULD SHOOT YOU I WOULD YOU ASSHOLE!

i keep trying to figure out WHICH part of the ad has them so bent out of shape? is it really JUST the queer element? could it be?

see, part of me feels it's mixing the boxing into it that does it. the boxing may be the real irritant because i'm talking about putting queers in the category of those who can really WIN from the lowest rung. it's so easy to see Will & Grace, because it separates queers into a class category. to think of queers as working class might wig some folks out. there's safety with wealth, and distance.

anyway, what are your thoughts? oh, and if you haven't yet read the ad, here it is:

- - - - F O R � I M M E D I A T E � R E L E A S E - - - -

- - - - F O R � I M M E D I A T E � R E L E A S E - - - -

POET-AGENT IN SEARCH OF TRANSVESTITE BOXER

The pink, frilly, faggy clip to the chin of oppression! �While
the fringe of the queer community is forgotten, even censored,
we will make our way through the ranks all champion boxers
made as an emblem for their minority outcast peoples throughout
history! �Looking for the world's toughest, queer transvestite
boxer dedicated to winning the heavyweight belt. �Must be willing
to wear pink gloves with drawings of Judy Garland's face hitting
the high note to punch out Tyson's woman-beating sorry ass
once and for all! �From there we will take the gay and lesbian
community back from the money-sucking gay republican scum
whose 1969 counterparts fled out the back door of Stonewall,
leaving the revolution in the hands of the fearless queens and
dykes! �Can you resurrect queens as backbone of queer leadership?
Do you make the high heeled, bitch hammer grade? �Do you have
Sissy Pride? �Interested in victory? �Contact CAConrad at
(215)563-3075, or CAConrad13@AOL.com



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