Monday, March 15, 2004
you wrote 'in defense of community' as if i attacked it, but nowhere in that post did i say that community does damage (that's for another post). i sincerely hope i didn't sound ungrateful or dismissive about it. in my original post on this topic, which i erased, i had said that my own isolation became a bit toxic at some point & i felt gravity toward community, which has been a great comfort to me, as you know. but times it's necessary for me to isolate or insulate. i imagine it's the same for many though i could easily be wrong.
guess i also want to point out 'connection' is not confined to 'community.' emotional intimacy and affection are at least as important than a community of those who are like minded. & that isolation from community is not complete isolation from humanity. for me, close friendships engage, inspire & reassure. community for me is more a chosen family - for mutual support, friendship & acceptance, which is quite wonderful, but i'm pretty sure if i didn't have it, my work wouldn't suffer. & i'm not comfortable with my own creative development there. some people do it quite successfully & i wouldn’t encourage them to change, but it's not for everyone.
i don't personally advocate the 'option' of cell death (though they are really genetically wired for it, according to my friend who studies that very subject in the lab), either, but i have to admit, however, there is something substantial to be gained in that process for some, however dangerous or absurd. sometimes it's helpful for some to strike out/in & take a long swim in that goofy abyss & maybe bring back a queer mouthful to spit at other humans. (TIC)
besides, is there only an either/or dilemma between community & isolation? there's a time for each, surely.
there are other items in your post that i would respond to if i had more time but i don't at the moment, unfortunately. which is also my excuse for the piecemeal. i hope others feel free to jump in to the conversation if they have any opinion one way or another on the topic.
love, & i mean that,