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Monday, March 15, 2004

hey Conrad 

i'm not by any means putting down community but rather defending development in isolation, which, of course, i feel strongly about. & you probably agree on some point of that, given your History (smack me if i’m too presumptuous here). solitary journey is what all creation tends toward, however seemingly removed or cloaked in Other, don't you think? in my post, i simply wanted to, besides point out Laib's fantastic work, say that there are some who develop well outside of a community of the same ilk &/or that being an 'outsider' (/insider?) may enhance one's ability to create something of significance. you disagree?

you wrote 'in defense of community' as if i attacked it, but nowhere in that post did i say that community does damage (that's for another post). i sincerely hope i didn't sound ungrateful or dismissive about it. in my original post on this topic, which i erased, i had said that my own isolation became a bit toxic at some point & i felt gravity toward community, which has been a great comfort to me, as you know. but times it's necessary for me to isolate or insulate. i imagine it's the same for many though i could easily be wrong.

guess i also want to point out 'connection' is not confined to 'community.' emotional intimacy and affection are at least as important than a community of those who are like minded. & that isolation from community is not complete isolation from humanity. for me, close friendships engage, inspire & reassure. community for me is more a chosen family - for mutual support, friendship & acceptance, which is quite wonderful, but i'm pretty sure if i didn't have it, my work wouldn't suffer. & i'm not comfortable with my own creative development there. some people do it quite successfully & i wouldn’t encourage them to change, but it's not for everyone.

i don't personally advocate the 'option' of cell death (though they are really genetically wired for it, according to my friend who studies that very subject in the lab), either, but i have to admit, however, there is something substantial to be gained in that process for some, however dangerous or absurd. sometimes it's helpful for some to strike out/in & take a long swim in that goofy abyss & maybe bring back a queer mouthful to spit at other humans. (TIC)

besides, is there only an either/or dilemma between community & isolation? there's a time for each, surely.

there are other items in your post that i would respond to if i had more time but i don't at the moment, unfortunately. which is also my excuse for the piecemeal. i hope others feel free to jump in to the conversation if they have any opinion one way or another on the topic.

love, & i mean that,
hassen

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